Kokomo's Korner

Inventions Pending

I need two things:

1) Handy places to secure my trashcan for windy days like the last couple of days. It has to be a spot that is accessible for the waste management people on trash pickup days. For the other five days a week, a second location would be out of site from the curb and in a location handy for me to deposit bags in the can. The two locations would be joined by an overhead mono-rail with can positioning device to push or pull can along the mono-rail and automatically secure it at either end appropriately, so it can't blow over.

2) A device for my truck. It would be controlled by two, driver activated, buttons. One button would be the "Shrink Truck" button. The other one would be the "Return to Normal Size" button. Some ATM machines have a screen and buttons at a height designed for go carts and midget racers. That forces me to hang out the window like an old mop head hanging over a porch rail. With this invention, I could just push the "Shrink Truck" button to put me at a lower level for ease of operation of the ATM. When finished with the transaction, I'd just push the other button to "Return to Normal Size".

-dale

Wet Weekend Forecast

The forecast looks wet for this Saturday and Sunday. Starting in the morning with thundershowers and wind. Then Sunday we can expect rain, snow showers and more wind. After the recent nice weather; I'd say that's pretty good. After all, it is still winter here.

Who am I kidding. Batten down the hatches! Tie down everything that's loose! Prepare for heavy weather and high seas!

-dale

Birthington's Washday

I hope everyone had a nice extended weekend this President's Day.

Yesterday, the temperature here got above freezing for the first time in a month or more. At one point I saw 35 deg. F outside on the carport.

Today, it got up to 55 deg. I actually got out and went to clean out the mailbox. I hadn't been there since last Monday, and it was full. The forecast looks good for a change. Maybe we are done with the hard freeze stuff for this  winter. I hope so; it was getting to be a real drag.

-dale

Mr. Weems and Mr. Plath Arrived Yesterday

After a one day delay brought about by Ivan Ice-Cube and Suzie Snowflake making their contributions during the storm the other day, the UPS truck came and dumped the poor old gentlemen off on my porch. I'm sure they were not very warm in that cardboard box, but I rushed them inside and let them out to warm up.

Actually, Weems and Plath is a very old and respected company that produces weather and navigation equipment.

My old weather station had been out of service for a couple of years due to a near lightning strike that rendered it into toast. And then the big wind storm of last summer finished the job by reshaping it into a cross between a pretzel and a squished bunch of plastic and aluminum headed for the recycle bin. I had no interest in replacing it with another full blown weather station. All that stuff had kind of run it's course with me.

I did want a indoor/outdoor thermometer though, and a new barometer. And, I wanted them both to be digitally displayed, but the rule was to keep it simple. No rain gauge, no wind speed and direction, no outside humidity, none of that.

I keep remembering things about my uncle Cecil. He built a little weather station in his backyard one time. It had a thermometer, a wind vane, a rain gauge, and a wind speed indicator. It was sometime in the mid 1950s, I'd guess. Most of the things it had were familiar to everyone. But not the wind speed thing. It was a length of tow truck chain. The weather station had a cross arm welded to it, and to the arm, the length of chain was welded at the top allowing the chain to hang down freely.

One day we were all out in the yard looking at this thing with great interest. Uncle Cecil was explaining in great detail about how the chain worked to tell the wind speed. He held the chain out a little ways, and carefully explained that that was about 5 to 7 miles an hour. A little bit farther out was 15 to 18 miles and hour, etc. Finally he held the chain straight out and exclaimed how when it was like that, the wind was "blowing like the dickens!" We were all laughing like crazy. Uncle Cecil had got us all a good one.

Here is a picture of my new barometer.

I did have a little confusion getting it calibrated because you have to enter your altitude in meters. I know what the altitude is here, but only in feet. It's always something. But not a problem for me. I just got RICHARD STEVENS BURINGTON, Ph. D. to help. He lives here on the second shelf of my bookcase. I bought his book when I was a senior in high school. My copy is a third edition from 1957.

The title is:

HANDBOOK OF MATHEMATICAL TABLES AND FORMULAS

That book has bailed me out more times than I can count.

From TABLE XXVIa, I found I had to multiply my elevation in feet by 0.3048006096 (simple, eh?)

I put BURINGTON back in his house on the second shelf.

The new barometer calibrated just fine after that. It's happy, I'm happy. Life is good...

-dale

Don't Forget!

It's that time again...

Better not forget your sweetie. I've had to dig out of that predicament before. Completely wore out two shovels and a back-hoe...

-dale

Burrr - Shiver, Shiver

All night long last night, the rain fell steadily. The evening forecast was right on the mark. The temperature outside stayed above freezing until sometime around mid morning today.

The wind picked up and the outside thermometer steadily headed for the freezing mark. Soon the rain turned to freezing rain, then a wintry mix, then sleet, and finally blowing snow. The interstates turned to skating rinks and the ditches along side the lanes were parking lots that held the randomly placed dented up and crunched vehicles from the skating rinks. Truckers were trying to find places off the interstates to park and wait it out.

I really am thankful that I no longer have to go out in a winter storm because I have to. Those days are over for me. On days like today, it's pretty nice to sit home and watch it on TV. But, I still feel badly for those who are out there toughing it out and doing their thing. I know what that is.

When I was a little kid, I had a children's story book. It was a Walt Disney story about Pablo the Penguin. Pablo didn't like the cold weather. I've always wondered if that story influenced me somehow as a young boy. One thing about me and Pablo, we don't like winter storms. Don't like nu-tin bout em.

-dale

I Don't Get It # 70,211

I never did understand a whole lot about the world of big business. The older I get, the more I'm convinced that the business world doesn't understand itself either. It seems its best explained from a very old saying I heard back in the early 1960s.

There are those who do not know, and those who do not know that they do not know. Of those two groups, the latter is always the group that makes the most salary. It has to be that way because no one can understand what they are talking about, and since some one must be in charge, it must be some one who professes to know what they are talking about.

Three years and one month ago, I decided it would be a good idea if I got a cell phone. My reasoning was, should I break down on the road or need help for whatever reason, I would have a way to call for assistance. I signed up for AT&T wireless.

After a couple of months, I was receiving info in the mail that AT&T Wireless was going to become Cingular Wireless. The AT&T building down the road from where I live got a new face lift. The AT&T sign came down, and a new Cingular sign went up. Everything was right with the world again.

A couple of weeks ago, I began seeing ads on television that Cingular Wireless was going to become the new AT&T. All this done in a little over three years. If any one out there understands this corporate logic, please don't explain it to me. I won't understand it, and I don't want to even try.

Who Do I Know From Daleville, Alabama - Do Tell...

It's just kind of West North West of Dothan a ways. A curiosity to me because it came up twice with referrers that I know.

So, mystery person, do tell! Unless of course it's a mater of national security or something freaky.

-dale

New Printer Time

More and more frequently my old printer was getting stuck. The carriage that moves the ink cartridges back and forth over the paper would let out a sickening grinding sound and the thing would stop with it's customary error message; "Hey dummy! It's stuck again... get it loose."

When the printer was new, you could move the carriage back and forth with ease. But toward the last, it  was stiff and took some persuasion to get it loose so it could move again. I cleaned it, I lubricated it, I begged it, I yelled expletives at it, but it was just worn out. It was time to invoke the dreaded replace it with an upgrade along at the same time. I detest upgrades! Nothing ever goes smoothly. But never the less...

I got one of the new All-in-One printers. It prints, it's a copier, a photo printer, a fax machine, and a scanner all in one. With that, I was able to replace the old printer, and my flat bed scanner. I have no idea what I'll ever do with a fax machine. Kind of reminds me of days before I retired, when I had to deal with faxes. You receive a fax, it gives you one more task to take care of. You send a fax, it gets ignored. Bah!

I won't get into all the tech stuff, but it took 3 solid days to get it all working. Windows has a way of leaving it's trash tucked away where un-installer routines won't find them. Reminds me of a dog that buries a bone and can't remember where he put it.

Device Driver conflicts; don't cha know. With the help of a couple of Alka Seltzer plop-plop fizz-fizzes to calm my stomach down, snacks, a tub or two of iced tea, interspersed with a couple of naps thrown in for good measure, all is happy with my confuser again.

Now it's on to other things.

GO BEARS!

__________ ...later...___________

Congratulations to the Super Bowl Champion COLTS. Indy is probably going bonkers tonight.

-dale